#66 Planned Indulgences

Ready for some Easter indulgences?
If so, are you having your indulgent foods in a health balance?
In this video I talk about how to plan in indulgences in a healthy way, why I don't recommend using food as a reward, and what to do if you're craving unhealthy foods 'all the time'.
Grab my food & exercise planner here: https://livemorelife.kartra.com/page/66ws

​Transcript
It's Easter coming up. A time in, I guess the Christian religious sense, about rebirth and rejuvenation. In the secular sense though, it's often about a time of indulgence, perhaps you're planning to have more of 

some of those treat foods than you might normally or you might usually. Hot cross buns, chocolate Easter eggs, alcohol.
 
Now, there's nothing wrong with indulgences. Indulgences are a time when we choose a food, not for its nutritional value, but for the simple pleasure and joy of having it. And indulgences can be an important part of a joyous, rich and healthy life. It can be an important of building a healthier relationship with all foods.
 
Trouble is, and the reason for this video today, is I see for many people, indulgences, indulgent foods are a place where they get into an unhealthy routine, they get into an unhealthy relationship. They don't know how to have them in a healthy balance, or don't even feel like they can have them, or they might think there's a food there that they have no power over. So today, whether it's Easter treats (or if you're watching this at any other time, any other indulgences that you like to have in your life), I want to share with you some ideas about how to have them in a way that actually works for your healthy life, instead of against it.
 
We'll talk about making decisions, planning, deciding in advance, what you will have, what you won't have, and learning how to stick to that plan. Right? We'll talk about food as a reward, and what to do if you're wanting or craving it all the time.
 
Now, before I do that, I should introduce myself. For those who don't know me. Hi, I'm Brian. I'm a life coach and a weight loss coach, and I transformed my relationship with myself back in 2006 when I did so, I lost 50 kilos. I've maintained that loss ever since - through every Easter, every Christmas every holiday. Now it's my mission, I help people transform their thinking, change their habits, and reach their goals like losing weight for life, or really anything else they want. You can check out more of my work and grab my 10 secrets to long term weight loss over at LiveMoreLife.com.au - While you're there, you might want to check out some of my other videos, they're free, and grab the worksheet for today's video. I've created a weekly and daily meal planner and exercise planner that you can use to help you decide in advance. You can find that link in the description.
 
Here's some things that I've learned about indulgent foods. And the number one thing I think is, that it all starts with how you think about a food. Notice that when you label the food as good or bad it affects your decision about what you will or won' have. And more importantly, it affects how you think about yourself when you do have it. You know, look at where you're giving yourself or not giving yourself permission to have certain foods in your life and what kind of person you are, if you do happen to have them.
 
You know, so often I see people get caught up in really unhealthy relationships, thinking that they’re or that it's naughty, or that they 'shouldn't' be having a food. Now, obviously, if you've got a medical reason for not having a food, not including it in your dietary intake, that's a good reason not to have it. I think you should follow that advice. But really anything else? I've never found it useful to think of good foods and bad foods, naughty foods and okay foods. I like to think that there's no bad foods.
 
Now, obviously, I'm not talking about spoiled food or unsafe food here or something like that. I'm not talking about that. But in general, there are no bad foods. It's about whether we're having them in a healthy balance, right? It's about learning how to have any food, and every food, that you have in a healthy balance. You know, even healthy things can be bad if you have too much. Water is lethal if you have too much. That's an extreme example. But it's about how to have it in balance, and then how to decide in advance what you will have or what you won't have it, and if you are going to have it, how much, and then sticking to that plan.
 
Now, I want to put out this video today, because I also wanted to remind you that deciding not to plan is a decision. It's a decision to go with your default habits to manage things the way you always manage them. And if that's in a healthy way, Go You. Fantastic! If none of these foods are an issue for you, you don't have problem with indulgences, you're managing your health in a healthy way at a healthy weight. Go you. Enjoy.
 
If you're not, if those habits are unhealthy, deciding not to plan might mean continuing to be a person who overeats or eat unhealthily, or binges. To be a person who has no control. To have the guilt the remorse or regret after. Deciding not to plan is being willing to have that regret, to have to get back on track, next time. It's being willing to move further away from your goals. So if you do decide not to plan and if you choose it, make sure you're embracing all of it, including perhaps the gain, including perhaps the work to re-establish, or establish in the first place, the healthy routines after. Put those on the scales, and decide, is it worth it? For you? To exercise no restraint, to just do what you've always done just, to fall into the old habits?
 
Have they gotten you to where you want to be?
 
If that's not what you want to do, then I really want you to consider Planned Indulgences. That's what we want to create. That's what I think about when we're having a food with not much nutritional value, but it tastes good. It's a planned indulgence, they're purposeful, they're considered, it's a deliberate choice. Maybe you've checked in advance and determined the impact of that food on your health and your well being and your weight. You've planned it into a healthy overall balance, you know? We can have an unhealthy food In a healthy balance, right?
 
When you do that, when you decide in advance and how much and you've worked it in, so you're like, "Okay, this is in a healthy balance, I can continue towards my goals and have these foods" then you get to have them with no fear, no guilt, no regret. It boosts your sense of self control. Right? You get to become a person who has anything and everything you want, including results including your healthy life. It moves you towards your goals, and helps you build that healthy relationship with all foods. If you decide in advance, and train yourself (now, this takes some work here sometimes), to train yourself to honour your word. You decide in advance what you will have, then you honour that. Honour yourself in doing so.
 
What is a healthy balance?
 
Well, I probably won't get into total depth - I think that's going to be different, it's going to be individual, for every person. But I thought I'd share with you some of the advice from the Australian good health guidelines here, particularly when it comes to discretionary foods - like what is a healthy balance? How much is recommended? Do you even know?
 
Now if you want to check out the Australian good health, the healthy eating guidelines, they're at www.eatforhealth.gov.au But basically a discretionary food is one of these foods that's of low nutrient value - tends to be high in fat or high in sugar high in salt - they're the sometimes foods, the treats and pleasures that we can enjoy but aren't particularly healthy for us. Thy don't provide a lot of nutrition.
 
And so, particularly over this Easter weekend, things like a hot cross bun or chocolate, alcohol all fall into discretionary foods. So for most people, the vast majority of adults, a healthy balance is from zero to two and a half serves of a discretionary food per day. That's the recommendation - it's a little bit higher for teenage boys, for young men, and if you're particularly tall - but in general, let's just say the vast majority people zero to two and a half serves per day.
 
It's perfectly okay not to have these foods at all. You don't have to have them. If you want them up to about two and a half servings a day. So to put that in perspective, 175 gram hot cross bun with butter or margarine spread. there is about two serves. One [hot cross bun]. And, just to help you give you an idea, what we often do is when we're considering these foods, we underestimate, the impact they're gonna have or how much work it will take for our body to break that down, to consume it, to burn it off, so to say in kilojoule speak. So, for instance, that one hot cross bun with butter is two serves - that's within a single day's healthy allowance of discretionary foods - for a 35 year old woman, 170 centimetres tall, weighing 65 kilos, burning off that one hot cross bun with butter would be an hour and 21 minute walk or a 45 minute bike ride or 33 minute continuous jog. For that one.
 
I'll give you another example. Chocolate for instance. So a serve of milk chocolate is 25 grams. It's considered one serve, out of your zero to two and a half In a day. Now, be careful about that. Watch those Easter eggs. Lots of them, you know might only be this big or so, but if you look at the packaging, it will tell you that that's going to be eight serves. 12 serves. Some bunny might be 16 serves. Some of the big ones 32 serves. Those large eggs like this are 140 something serves. Remembering we're looking for zero to two and a half serves per day. So one serve of 25 grams, that's a 37 minute walk, a 20 minute bike ride, a 15 minute jog to burn off.
 
So I really want you to consider what else might happen in the day. Are there any other indulgent choices? You know, for instance, alcohol would count towards your discretion foods there. Maybe other foods too. So think about what is a healthy balance for you? What am I doing the rest of the day? What am I doing the rest of the week in terms of my healthy eating?
 
You know, 60 grams of hot chips is a serve. It's another example that comes up regularly. So have I thought about how much am I taking in? Am I willing? Am I prepared to do the amount of work necessary to burn that back off? Or have I considered how I'm staying within the recommended limits? By the way, that's for a person who's maintaining a healthy weight, not for losing weight. Often removing or lowering the discretionary choices is helpful way to help you move towards weight loss, if you're looking to lose in a healthy way.
 
So can you plan in some treat? How much are you going to have each day across the weekend? Across the week? Is it in a healthy balance overall, so you're under two and a half serves per day.  Are you having your whole week's worth of serves in one day? That's considered a binge (or more). So consider that, really think about how much am I going to allow? What other healthy food am I consuming so my overall patent eating pattern is healthy. Decide in advance how much you're going to have.
 
Now, here's the thing that I often find, if we do give ourselves permission to have something, we don't have to fight it, we don't have to resist it. We don't think it's bad or wrong. We do get to have it with no guilt, because we've decided that that's a healthy amount and I'm going to have it.
 
Sometimes, we will get to the moment when we've decided to have it we actually don't feel like it. Or I've had this happen sometimes you're playing it in you like alright, I wait all year for my hot cross bun . Well, this is the only time I have Easter eggs. I'm going to have one. Okay, perfectly fine. Then we have it...and it's not as good as we think. I used to do this all the time with things like, I'd be going out for dinner like, Oh, I'm gonna have a slice of cake. Or I'm going to have a dessert, I had the first mouth full or have a wine, you know? (I particularly like a nice red). So I'd have a glass and then I had that first sip and I'm like, oh that's really disappointing. I taste that first bite of the cake and like it's dry and not very nice. It isn't what I thought it would be, It looked better than it tastes. And if that happens to you, I really want you to consider this... You don't have to finish it!
 
I would encourage you there to stop, if ever you notice the planned indulgence isn't as good as you'd hoped. And the reason why I want you to do that is because I don't want you wasting the 'food for pleasure' on something that isn't pleasurable. The reason for that is because our brain is still going to want to seek the pleasure, Have you ever done that? Maybe you've ever been at a party. You're like, Okay, I'm going to be good. I'm going to be healthy. I'm not going to have a piece of cake. Let's say it was a birthday party. I'm not going to have cake today. And then you get there and it looks really nice. Oh, I really want a piece of cake. It looks really nice. Then we go, Okay, "well, I won't have cake. I'll go eat this. I won't have cake. I'll go eat this. I won't eat cake, I'll go eat this. I won't eat cake, I'll eat this. Oh stuff it. I'll eat the cake anyway. I see this so often with people.
 
So don't let yourself get into that loop. If I really want it, Can I give myself permission to have some? An amount that I'm choosing on purpose? And have I thought about how to have that in a healthy balance overall? And then how to give yourself the permission? When you give yourself permission, there's no rebelliousness, there's no fight against it. And then if it's as good as you thought, have the amount you thought. If it's not stop. Don't waste those discretionary food serves, if you like. Save them up for something else and choose to spend it where it's worth it for you.
 
Remember that if you're choosing to consume it anyway, then watch out for the overeating, the over consuming. Then we're back to going to old habits. Then we're back to embracing all of it, you know?
 
And I really want to caution everyone, to this idea is food as a reward. Ever done that? I'm being so good all week, I'll be really good, I'm not having anything, I'm saving up for a special treat. And then I get to have that as a reward.
 
I used to do that with friends of mine used to have a dance class and we'd all go out for gelato afterwards, or I play a game of squash with my friends (back in the day), and then we'd go Oh, we've done so well. We've exercised really hard, or we've been really good all week. And then we'll go have dinner, chicken chips, something like that. Deep fried takeaway food. It's going to have a lot of kilojoules in it. It can be a lot of discretionary food choices serves in there. Very often, because we underestimate the impact of those foods, right? - How many of you thought that you had to walk for 37 minutes to break down that 25 grams of chocolate? who's like, Oh, yeah, okay, I need an hour and was it? an hour and 37 minutes? An hour and 21 minutes for each hot cross band that I have - So if I have 6, am I really walking for over seven hours to burn them off continuously? Okay, really think about it.
 
So food is reward. Such a dangerous idea. I think this idea that you deserve it or that you justified having it, I think that's a dangerous justification, right? Because, so often because we underestimate it, it can actually undo the Healthy Habits. It can take you away from your goals. And is it really a reward if it does that? Have you earned self sabotage with your efforts? And even if you have earned self sabotage, would you want to give it to yourself? Why undermine your well being?
 
I've been so healthy now I get to be unhealthy. I've worked so hard all this week. I've done all this effort to create healthy meals, to stay on track, to say no to temptations and indulgence during the week. And so now, I can have a reward. And so I can undo all of the hard work. Just go back to where I was at the start of the week. I might as well have done none of that hard work in the first place.
 
I don't think we should ever use food as a reward. It doesn't actually reward us and ultimately doesn't feel good. We usually feel worse after it, for having it. Watch out for the reward having a bigger impact than the work you did to earn it. instead choose a more helpful reward. Sometimes all you need is a pat on the back, a high five, a mental well done you, you go! You've got this! You can do it. Look at what you're doing. That sense of accomplishment and achievement is often a reward enough on its own. And it certainly is long term because you become a person who decides what you're going to have in advance, you stick to your plan. And you prove it by creating the life you want. You get it all. So much fun. So try not to use food as a reward. it's not actually rewarding.
 
And finally, when it comes to indulgences, I hear some people say to me that they're very worried - that if they do plan it in, they do give themselves permission to have some, then they're just going to want it all the time. Let me offer you this. If you're wanting something all the time, you're having cravings for it, chances are, you're probably using the pleasure of that food to escape your life. To avoid, to buffer, to hide from some perceived negative emotion or negative situation. It's a way of checking out. Distancing yourself from something unpleasant.
 
So often we create these relationships, these feel good moments, because we've had some of these foods as treats on special occasions. It was our birthday or Christmas or Easter. It was a feel good moment. So we're trying to recreate the feel good moment with food. Or our brain thinks we're under threat and goes into survival mode and says I better stock up for winter - there's stress here.
 
I actually find, the irony is, when we don't do that, right? When we recognise that life is a balance and the human experience is a range, a full spectrum of emotions. I encourage you to embrace all that. And when you do when you take ownership of your life, when you take responsibility for your well being, when YOU look after your physical and mental and emotional well being, and there's no need to escape.
 
When you give yourself permission to feel, very often don't even have to have it. I do that very often. Now I'll plan, if I'm going out for dinner or something, I'll plan a treat or indulgence maybe I'll plan for the dessert or plan in for the wine. I did that last year Christmas I'm going Oh, I'm planning for wine with dinner. I got to dinner and I didn't feel like it. So I didn't have it. No big deal. I didn't miss it. Didn't feel that bad. Didn't feel like I was missing out. Giving myself permission. But because I was able to take control and I was always already looking after my emotional, my physical, my mental well being, because I'm doing that, I never need to sabotage. I never need to undermine my health.
 
So watch out for that. If it's a craving, if it can only be satisfied by a particular food - it must be chocolate, it must be wine, it must be bread, it must be carbs, whatever - then chances are, it's not hunger. You're trying to solve an emotional need with food. That never works, there isn't enough food in the world to actually solve that. Instead, it will just be a distraction. It'll be a buffer, it'll be avoidance for a little while. A temporary relief. It doesn't make the stress go away, as we talked about in my last video, stress is still there, still gonna deal with it. Now you got to deal with how you feel about yourself for having that 'bad' food.
 
So let's make all food okay. Let's decide that if it's an indulgence, of low nutritional value, but it's pleasurable, we want to have it, that we are going to have it (we'll give ourselves permission to have it) in a healthy balance. And then we need to practice honouring ourselves. Having just that amount.
 
To help you with that. I've created a planner. In the download for this week. It's a worksheet with a whole week's worth of menu and exercise plan there, in advance. Then for each day, a daily plan where you can put down what your your plan is, what you've decided in advance to have, and the place to record what you actually had and if (it was different), what you had and why. And a separate sheet each day to reflect on... What is my intention for today? What am I planning to, how am I showing up for myself? How am I living my best life today? What are my challenges that might come up? And how will I solve them ahead of time? What am I going to do when that happens? You know, I've decided to have one Easter egg. And then I'm finding half now later, I'm looking for another one. Okay, what's my solution ahead of time for that? Maybe we go weigh it out, find out how many minutes of walking, I'd need to do. Maybe I have to go and do that in advance before I decide to have it.
 
By the way, if you're trying to solve an emotion, movement is often one of the best things. You might do the walk and then not feel like having the Easter egg afterwards.
 
Make a choice. And then of course you can reflect on what worked in your day. I'm not expecting any person to be to be perfect, particularly you're brand new to this, but if you're doing it for the first time this Easter, okay, well, you know, you're gonna learn by doing. Sometimes you get it right. Sometimes you get it wrong. Every day. I have the section in the worksheet there to reflect on what worked and I want to keep. What didn't? What did I learn? And think about what you can do next. What will you change tomorrow - and put that on tomorrow's plan. I've also put a space on there to help you with managing your stresses, we talked about last week, with three good things or three things you're grateful for every day.
 
Wonder how it would feel in a week's time, or months time, or six months time, when you start the practice today of deciding in advance, giving yourself permission and learning how to have things in a healthy balance. When you start the practice of showing up doing what you say you're going to do.
 
I'd love to know, what will you choose to indulge in over the next week or so? Where do you want to be afterwards? And what will you decide to create to get you there?
 
Don't forget to download that worksheet. completed it, and if you need help working out what is a healthy balance for you? or learning how to stick with your plan, then let's have a common conversation. Let's get in touch, head over to LiveMoreLife.com.au and request a free consultation. You know, working together can help you find the new thoughts about your food and about yourself. I can help you create the new healthy routines work for your life instead of against it. That do move you towards your healthy goals and your healthy balance. You really can have the life and the results that you want.
 
If this video has been helpful for you, give me a like give me give me a heart. If you're watching on my YouTube or on my video blog, make sure you hit subscribe to get notified of all new videos. And if you do know someone who it would be helpful to hear this information please share the video with them. Share the link or tag them in the comments.
 
I'd love to hear how you go, I want to help as many people as possible. So I hope you choose to have an amazing Easter. I hope you choose to care for yourself and others in a really healthy way. And if you're going to have some indulgences, plan them in and enjoy them with no guilt or regret or remorse. Plan them into a healthy balance.
 
Well, I'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts with me in the comments below, maybe what you're planning in and maybe come back and share in the comments how you went. What worked? What didn't? I'd love to continue that conversation. For now, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.
 
Have an amazing Easter. And I look forward to talking with you again soon. Bye for now.
 
Transcribed by https://otter.ai