#59 What are your food rules?

What are your food rules?
If you've ever tried dieting or losing weight, chances are you've heard or tried out lot's of different ideas about what you 'should' or 'shouldn't' do to be successful. Even if you've never tried losing weight, you've probably unconsciously picked up or adopted a great number of rules about eating in your life.

In this video I explore observing and reviewing your rules and then choosing them, on purpose.
Get the worksheet here: https://livemorelife.kartra.com/page/59ws 

Transcript
What are your food choices?
If you've ever tried losing weight before, chances are that you've heard or tried lots of different ideas about what you should, or shouldn't do, to be successful. Even if you've never been a person who's tried

losing weight, chances are you've probably also unconsciously picked up, or adopted,  a great number of rules about eating in your life.
 
Things like you have to eat everything on your plate. Think of the starving children. I know personally that's one I grew up with. Or you can only eat cereal at breakfast time in the morning. What about you have to stop and eat something at morning tea. Do you? Are you hungry? Or is this a habit that's been trained in since you were in primary school? Since recess? What about this idea that you have to have something with your coffee? It has to be coffee, and... or you have to have drinks and nibblies when you've got friends and family visiting, or you're getting together with them. What about you have to have birthday cake at a birthday party?
 
Hi, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Brian Granger. I'm a life coach and a weight loss coach, and I help people transform their thinking, change their habits lose weight for life. And when I look back at my life, if I look back when I had my 50 kilos extra, I discovered that I had some rules that really weren't helping. Things like...
 
If it tastes good, eat it. You know one more won't hurt. Or dessert belly is a whole 'nother belly. Those of you don't know, desserts my thing! Or how about this - having a diet soft drink with my takeaway makes it all right. Maybe, I've blown it. I've made a poor choice. Why bother? I'll start again tomorrow, or next week. Have you had any food rules like that?
 
If you look, I think most people will find that you actually have a great number of food rules that you've been practicing in your everyday life. And today in this video, what I want to do is encourage you just to observe those rules, right and then review them. Ultimately, you get to decide and actively choose which food rules you want to keep. Most people don't though, most people simply continue on automatically with the ones they already have.
 
And so, look, to help you, I've created a worksheet here to help you with this process. So you can click on the link in the description above or below, fill out your email, and then you'll have access, you be able to download the PDF. Now if you're on a mobile device, just remember you will need Adobe Reader (that's a free app) or some other app that lets you open PDFs on your phone in order to access it. That's Adobe Reader, but anyway, click on the link, grab the worksheet. I've got a whole week's worth in there. I think this is a really useful exercise to do.
 
Some of you may already know some of the food rules you have already. You may have already been thinking in my examples about "oh yeah, what do I have?" And I know this because many clients present these to me as problems early in their coaching sessions. You know, they say things like " If it's there, I eat it, whatever it is. So maybe insert whatever your food is for you. It's there, I eat it. Or I have to eat the whole bag of chips or the whole block of chocolate. I can't say no if it's offered, or provided, or free. How many times have you had someone said "go on have a piece, it won't hurt. I made the special for you." Something that you actually perhaps didn't want. You had it anyway. Some people say to me things like "I go crazy on weekends or holidays or traveling. Then I get back on track. They usually say "I have to get back on track, when I get back". So just notice there's a rule there that you've created yourself - that holidays, weekends travel are somehow different from your everyday healthy life. The normal rules don't apply. You have different rules, for those occasions.
 
So if you already know some of your rules, I encourage you to write them down on the worksheet or on a piece of paper. And I want you to know, there's nothing inherently wrong with having rules. Although I should point out here that I want you to be aware that if you have very strict rules about eating, that can be a sign of disordered eating. Maybe you want to discuss that with your GP. But otherwise, there's nothing inherently wrong with having rules. It's really just examining, what are you doing as a result of having that rule in your life? And asking yourself, well, is this really helping? Is it moving me towards the future that I want to be having? is it helping me live a life that I love, not just in the moment, in the pleasure of eating it, but in retrospect, in the big picture?
 
So, if you have downloaded the worksheet, or if you haven't, consider doing this every day... for the following week, I really encourage you to just observe what you do throughout your day. Write down choices you make or behaviours exhibited. What things did you actually do?
 
And ask, what is the rule here that I have? Was I following a rule or was this an exception? What's my normal response here? When you write those down, you'll be able to see, you will uncover what all of your actual rules are. Do I have to eat it just because it's there? Did I have to have the cakes and the pastries and the biscuits at that morning tea?
 
Once you have your rules written down, though, a wonderful thing happens. You get to ask yourself "is it helping? Is it serving me? Do I feel good about making this choice or taking this action? Eating this food in my life?" Remember, this can be applied with drink as well. So think about alcohol. Think about teas and coffees. Think about soft drinks and juices, smoothies. Does having this and having this rule that I follow, actually bring me closer to the life I want to be living or not? Is it serving me?
 
And for each rule, you get to make a conscious decision, right? Once you uncover a rule, you're no longer living on automatic pilot, you're no longer just reacting. You're now choosing. So you get to make a conscious choice to keep the rule you've created, to abandon it, if it's no longer helping you, or to change it into something that would serve you better? That would be more helpful, for you. And I really encourage you to keep all of the ones that you really like having in your life. That make your choices easier. That do build or maintain your success. Remember, you get to decide...do I want to keep it or not?
 
As I said, in the worksheets, I've given you space to do this activity daily over seven days. And I think it's a useful exercise to do occasionally, because sometimes our rules slip, or our needs for them change. Or sometimes, you know, as we're going about in the world, we pick up or bring in, new rules that we've learned from someone else. That we've observed in the world, or that we've heard about. And maybe they're not the best thing for us. You know, we're social animals. And so our primitive brain is always looking for what are other people doing - I need to go along with the tribe, I need to do what other people doing. It's interesting.
 
It's why research shows that most people will eat more at a party, or with friends in a social situation, when they see other people eating. When we're around people who eat more, or overeat, we are more likely to overeat ourselves. Right? So watch out for those rules that you've picked up because of either your biological wiring trying to go along with the tribe, or just things you've seen or heard about have success or might have success for someone else. Could this work for me? Now, your brain will often just pick it up and try it without you being aware of it. So look around, you know, you know, our brain is always thinking that someone else is going to have the magic answer, rather than listening to our own inner wisdom. And so I really invite you to that space to uncover the rules that you've got and ask, is this actually working for me? Do I want to keep it?
 
If you struggle with any of this, chatting with a coach like me can be a great way to allow this self reflection in a safe environment, with someone who can help you discover the blind spots. Can actually objectively help you question whether it's helping or not. You know, it's important to do this with someone who's a neutral party who's not at the effect of your thinking, and can therefore see it in a different light. Of course, having a coach means you've got someone who's trained to help you explore those new possibilities, and to make decisions that actually move you forward into the life that you want. They can do it in a safe space without influencing you one way or the other.
 
So if you'd like some help examining your food rules (or any other unhelpful thinking) that you might have, if you'd like help changing your habits or creating the life that you want to live, then head to LiveMoreLife.com.au and request a free consultation. I'd love to have a chat with you and see if working together would work for us.
 
Now, of course, I know that when I bring up a topic, I have the video about food rules. Lots of people are going to ask, "well Brian, what are your food rules? What works for you?" And so, I will share a couple of the rules that I enjoy having in my life right now. But the point here, of course, is not to direct you, not to say that these are the rules you should be following. Remember, these are the rules that work for me, in my life, that I enjoy having and your life might be different. So I'll share a couple here, but I want you to use them just as inspiration or as a springboard to explore what might be fun or might be useful, or what could be possible for you. Not as a directive.
 
So here's a couple that I like..... I can have anything that I want, as long as I have it in a healthy balance. And for me, healthy balance means getting all of my nutritional needs met. It means Never going hungry. It means never feeling like I'm missing out. So I do consider all of those things.
 
Another rule that I have in my life is I no longer harm myself with food. I spent so much of my life, hating myself with food, beating myself up with food. Overeating and eating unhealthy choices in a way that really was hurting my health, my well being my self esteem. And I've made the conscious decision to no longer do that in my life. I no longer hurt myself with food.
 
The opposite of that is I treat myself well. Right? I do that mentally and emotionally and physically with the choices I make, no matter where I am, no matter what's going on. Doesn't matter if it's holidays, weekend, if I'm traveling, I treat myself well. I look after me. I'm someone I care about.
 
And, as part of that, I never beat myself up over a choice I've made. If I do ever overindulge or overeat (it's pretty rare for me now), but if I do, if something doesn't work out the way I want it, then I try and meet that with compassion, with curiosity, with understanding. And go. What was that about? Why did I do that? What was the trigger? What was the vulnerability? Is there an old habit that's crept up? That I wasn't aware of. Is it a rule or an exception? Then, what will I do about it next? How would I change it next time so I get a different outcome, if I want to?
 
I also don't eat food that isn't for me. I don't eat other people's food. Sometimes we do this - we make things for the kids or we buy something in for the party or the celebration, then we end up eating it. I never do that. Even with leftovers. If they're for other people, I portion them out. These ones are for me and these one's are for the people. If it's for the party, I just don't eat it if it is not for me.
 
The one that I really want you to take away and I guess I would encourage you to adopt is this one.... I always have a choice. And I always get to decide. I always have a choice. I always get to decide. I don't have to live in reaction and automatic response and unconscious eating. I get to choose. So much more fun.
 
Well, I hope this short video has been helpful for you. So if it has be sure to give me a like, give me a reaction, give me a heart. If you're watching on YouTube or my video blog, make sure you hit subscribe to get notified of every new view when it comes out. If you need the worksheet, don't forget to download it from the description in the link. Remember, if you're on mobile, you'll need Adobe Reader to look at the PDF.
 
If you know someone for whom seeing this video, getting this information, might be helpful, then don't forget to tag them in the comments or send them the link to the video, to the blog page or the YouTube page. I want to help as many people as possible and really getting clear about 'my food rules' and choosing them on purpose, in a way that really serves me and helped me create the amazing life that I want. It's gotten me to keep and sustain my 50 kilo weight loss with joy and with ease for over 12 years now. It's totally possible.
 
Well for now, let me know in the comments....What food rules do you have, that do serve you and do help you move forward? Let's share them and inspire each other. I hope you have an amazing day and I'll talk to you soon. Bye for now.
 
Transcribed by https://otter.ai