2019 #36 Troubleshoot any Problem.

How to troubleshoot any problem you have, creating the results (or the life) you want.
​These four questions can help you check your perspective and know what to do next!

Transcript
Hello, everyone.

There's a great quote I love that says "a crisis is a terrible thing to waste". That's Jim Rohn who said that. {correction: Paul Romer said it} And over these last few videos, we've been exploring the idea of creating the life you want, becoming the person that you want to be, by allowing the results that you're having to be neutral, they don't mean anything, and to be inviting the hard, to be welcoming challenges in our life as opportunities to grow, to develop.

And so, I'd love first of all, to know how you're going with that? Are you showing up? Are you allowing the challenges to come in? Are you allowing the results that you're getting to be neutral? And then examining what's working, and what's not? And what are you going to do next?

In this video, I really want to take it one step further and give you a framework for evaluating any of the results that you are getting. Because when we come to change, when we come to transformation, we often find that (well I think we can guarantee), you'll run into challenges. You'll be running into the unexpected, you'll be running into habits, and the person, you have been up until now. And often these will present themselves as problems or challenges or obstacles to be overcome.

Today, I want to give you just a few questions, really just simply four questions, that I believe are all you need to uncover the nature of any problem, and to get back into action, creating the life you want. Or let me know what challenges you're facing at the moment. Perhaps write them down now, so that by the end of this video, you can reflect on the four questions that I give you.

And I just realized that quote was not from Jim Rohn, that was Paul Romer's, quote, "a crisis is the terrible thing to waste". Jim Rohn actually says another quote that I really like he says, "Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom." And today, I want to show you what little wisdom I have with you, and invite you into looking into inward, to your own wisdom, to help you solve any problem or any challenge that comes your way. 

The truth is, life is about 50/50. That's what I've come to you understand that there's going to be times when you're feeling really good, and you're getting focused, and you're doing everything and it's all working. Some times it won't. That's just normal. Again, as we talked about in a couple of videos ago, doesn't have to mean anything about you. It doesn't mean you're good or bad, or disciplined or weak willed, whatever. It just means that's the situation you find yourself in.

So if you do find yourself in a challenge, you do find yourself struggling to believe that you can be the person you can be, or really in any other result, I really encourage you to ask just these four questions. The first one is "What's really going on?"

So often, when we're faced with a challenge or an obstacle, perhaps you've made a poor eating choice, or you didn't show up and do your activity or your exercise, maybe you didn't serve (in a way that you would have liked) the people around you. Maybe you didn't show up for your best self, you fell back into old habits. In all of these cases, it's sometimes challenging to do either one of two things, to either dwell on it, to beat ourselves up about it, to go over it again and again and again. And in that case, you're just sort of living in the past, thinking about what has happened. But notice that you're not actually looking at it objectively, when you're caught up in the emotion of it, you won't be thinking, "Well, what worked? What didn't? What would I do differently?" And with, you know, curiosity. Instead, you'll be in, "I should have done this, I should have done that I could have done this, I could have done that", etc. And we get caught up in it so we just keep re triggering, we live in the moment over and over again.

On the other hand, sometimes we then go, "Okay, well, I just won't look at it at all, I'll just ignore it. Tomorrow's a new day, I'll just move forward. And I'll just try again, I'll just do better. I'll just be more focused a more disciplined. Note, I think that's a mistake, as well. Because now you're just ignoring it, and kind of just living in the future....but with no real strategy about how you will do things differently.

Eckhart Tolle says, "the power is in the now" that's his famous book, (the power is in), The power of Now. The idea that there is no problems. By that what he really means is when you're living in the present moment, not in the past or in the future, if you really look at your life, proberly is no problems in that moment. And the idea here is to allow yourself to consider that. Now, I find this challenging, and I know many people find this challenging, to think that there are no problems. And so, if you're in that camp, what if you just allow a possibility there is really no problem here. There is a decision to make. To act in a certain way, or decision to not do that. That's all there ever is in a moment.

So I think it's valuable when you're facing a challenge. When something didn't turn out the way you wanted. Or you didn't show up the way you're expected. To really slow down and ask yourself, "what's really going on?" This is the first question. Stay in the moment, stay present..."what's really going on?" 

And in most cases, when we have a problem or challenge or an obstacle, it's because it's coming out of some kind of fear. We're holding ourselves back. We're not asking for what I want. Or we're not showing up for ourselves, we're not putting in the effort that we want. Because of some kind of feear. The reason I can say this with confidence is because if it, if it wasn't coming from fear, you probably wouldn't see it as a problem. You'd be like, no big deal. That's just the way is just, the way it was. That was perfect.

So what's really going on? What's holding you back? What's scaring you? Why do you want to hang on to the old habit more than than the new habit? It is a really interesting questions to find out what's really going on.

Now, of course, talking with a friend or family member or colleague, or someone neutral, like a coach can be a really great place to get some insight there to help you see the things you aren't seeing. But even on your own, take a moment....What's really going on here? What do I really want, given what I've done? And let's get your consciousness back. Don't forget you get to choose.

And once you've decided why you've done or not done, whatever it was that brought about this problem, or this challenge, or the way you faced this problem or challenge. The second part question is to ask, "Do I like my reasons for doing what I did, or for not doing what I didn't do?" Do I like my reasons?

I'm thinking about weight loss here for a momen. You can lose weight in a way that's depriving yourself that's going without or going hungry or pushing yourself really hard with exercise. You can do these things. But I've never found anyone who keeps it. And the reason is, because if you don't like the reasons why you're changing, why are you making healthy choices? Why you're saying 'no' to the instant gratification? Why are you putting in the effort in your movement? Why are you doing this inquiry in your mind?

If you don't like your reasons why, you probably won't keep it. It won't be sustainable for the long term. In the end, what we're trying to create here is a life that you can keep forever. That's what I teach with my weight loss coaching, with my life coaching, that we're creating the life you want to live for the rest of your life. So you have to like your reasons why you want to change, why you take the actions that you do, why you put in the effort? Or why you don't?

If you don't like your reasons, really stop and reconsider...Am I doing this because I don't like something about myself? or I believe that I'm not good enough?  And when I get there, I'll be better?

It doesn't always work that way, by the way. Sometimes we get more skilled, we get more practice. Making certain choices becomes easier, like saying no to that instant gratification, saying yes to the bigger picture. They get easier with practice, but you wouldn't be better. You are good enough. Now. You're worthy of success, now. You're capable of bringing about your own success, now.

Then, if you want to change, if you want to transform, can you do it from a place of loving what is? Right? I found that out the hard way. Getting to goal didn't make me happy. Losing my 50 kilos didn't make me like myself even more. I actually had to do the work on liking myself, to like myself. And I realized I could do that at any weight, at any stage of fitness, at any part on my path to my goal, because I'm becoming that person. 

So, so far, what's really going on? Do you like your reasons for the actions you've taken? And if you don't, if you would like to change them, a great question I like to ask here is, "If you were the ideal version of you, the person who showed up and who delivered things exactly the way you want them to be? The future you you're trying to create, if you were already that person...what would your ideal solution be?"

For a person who already already living healthfully at, comfortably at, their weight. A person who's already had their fitness, a person who had already achieve their their lifestyle goals, their career goals, their financial goals, their relationship goals... who already had everything that you already wanted, "What would your solution be?" How would you move forward in this challenge?

Now it's really interesting. Sometimes when we look at it from this viewpoint, we see what Eckhart Tolle is talking about. We realize, actually there is no problem here. It's no big deal. I just get to move on now. I can move on, loving myself and being compassionate with myself, and really caring for me. Wanting my best self, wanting the best for myself. And sometimes that ideal solution presents itself. 

Now, I can't always tell you what that's going to be for you. It's going to be different for every single one of us. But I can tell you that, if you can create space, if you can create stillness inside, if you can be present in the moment, rather than dwelling on the past or the future, the answer is often available to you. Just learn how to listen.

So what's really going on? Do you like your reason? What's your ideal solution to this? And what will you do?

That fourth one's really important, because in the end, when we're thinking about the future, what our ideal solution is, we don't know. We might have an instinct that tells us what the right answer is. I think it's worthwhile finding out. But the only way we find out is by doing. And if we make our results neutral, then we've learned what works, or we get more information about what didn't work. We can reevaluate, again, we can go "what worked, what didn't, what do I want to do next?" and we'll see that in the end there are no problems or challenges. They're opportunities to transform, if we let them.

And I always found it's beneficial to be grateful for every opportunity, every challenge, every problem that comes my way. Almost always, the problem is simply in our thinking. That we're thinking about our past or our future, or about ourselves in a way that isn't helpful. And I've learned with myself and with my clients, that once you can clear that out of the way....The path ahead is, is clear, is easy. You just have to take the action.

Its, such an exciting thing that I get to do as a life coach, as a life coach. And that is really to help people see what they can't see. To take off those blinders and consider things from a different viewpoint. So I want to invite you today into looking at your challenges and your obstacles and your problems, from a different viewpoint. It's there to help you grow. It's there to help you transform, it's there to help you rise up. 

So as you said a couple of weeks ago, invite it in, and then use it as opportunity to find out what's really going on. Decide, then whether you like your reasons or not. If you do, keep it. If you don't, change it. Come up with your ideal solution and test it out. Give it a go. What I know is either that thing will work, or you'll get one more piece of information that will tell you how to try again next. And that thing will work, or you'll get a piece of information that will inform what to try next. 

What we never do, is give up on ourselves. I truly believe that that is the only time we fail. We fail when we give up. And it's okay to sometimes feel disappointed, to feel disillusioned, to feel the fear. That's human. That's what we all do. But if you never give up on yourself, if you come back to the belief that of course this is for you. This is how you succeed, and that you can succeed, staying firm in that belief. Then your success is inevitable.

"The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That's really all there is." A quote that also comes from Eckhart Tolle.

All you have is this moment. The question is, what will you do with it? Do you like your reasons?

If you'd like to learn more about these ideas. If you'd like to explore them for yourself, if you'd like some help uncovering, revealing the things you can't see, and helping to get that reframe. Then please reach out to me. I do have some one on one spaces available for coaching at the moment and I offer everyone a free session just to experience what coaching what might with me might be like. And I also want to let you know I've got some free trainings coming up in the next couple weeks, about taking ownership and taking responsibility. Having the mental breakthroughs that you need for long term weight loss. And my stop sabotaging your weight loss course is opening the doors for enrollment in just a couple of weeks time.

So, if you want to overcome emotional eating, you want to start to transform your life if you want to know in depth how to manage any problem that comes your way, then I'd love to have a conversation with you. I'd love to welcome you to a conversation, one of the webinars or my course. I'd love to help you out.

So, if you're watching on YouTube or on my blog, make sure you hit subscribe, so that you get notified of every new video when it comes out. And I'd love to hear in the comments. How did you assess that problem that you mentioned at the start?

What questions will you ask yourself this week to move yourself forward towards your dream life?

Transcribed by https://otter.ai