2019 #33 Inviting the hard

How Easy do you want your journey to goal to be? Do you naturally run away, avoid or stop when things get 'hard'? Here's why you might want to rethink that (and how to do so).

Transcript
How hard do you want the creation of your healthy habits, your journey to success, or reaching your goal to be?

If you're life like most people, and maybe this is your first reaction, you probably want it to be easy. And I don't blame you. That's normal. It's what our brain wants to do. Our brain always wants to find that path of least resistance. It wants to conserve energy, it wants to always do what it's always done. It doesn't want to have to strive, doesn't want to have to try, doesn't want to have to expend that effort. Of course, that also means that you aren't changing, you aren't transforming.

Do you want it to be hard, or easy.

And I wanted to this video today, because I have been speaking with a lot of my clients over the last couple of weeks. And I've seen lots of people really getting in there and doing the work. And coming up with a point that it's like, it's hard, it's challenging, I don't want, to it's too much. And that's the trouble with wanting it easy, to just come automatically. Because when we do decide to change as soon as it gets difficult, or challenging, or hard...you may find yourself wanting to Quit. Wanting to chuck the towel in, wanting to go back to your old habits and your old way of life, your old way of thinking.

You know, you might find yourself thinking things like saying things like, it's too hard, I can't. Why bother? Because in that moment, that's the easy option. It's easier to quit, it's easier to give up, it's easier to just fall back to our old way of thinking or old way of being. But for all of us who are wanting to change, we want to create something new in our life. Quitting, giving in, taking that easy path means that we're not practicing the new habits, we're not actually changing those habits. Therefore, we're not moving towards our goals. 

So I want to give you a shift in thinking today. You know, I have people all the time asking me Isn't it hard to maintain my weight? Am I concerned about parties or gatherings or celebrations or birthdays? It was my birthday recently. And you know, once upon a time in my life, you know, once upon a time, I would have the cake and the lollies and the chocolates and the wine and, and everything and just consume it all mindlessly. That's one of the ways I gained my extra 50 kilos in the first place.

So I knew I didn't want that.

But sometimes I wonder if you've ever done this, when we make a decision to change, we're like, Okay, I'm going to cut back a little bit, I'm going to be healthier, I'm going to not have the cake at the party, for instance. (And by the way, there's nothing wrong with having cake. If you've planned it in a healthy balance, you can have cake.) But if you haven't, right, if you've decided that, in fact, I don't want the cake. You know, I used to do this with visiting relatives and some of my relatives. As soon as you arrive, they've got to get out the the Sultana cake and you know, for a cup of tea or the biscuit barrel has to come out. And so it's always this idea of we're showing love with food. So sometimes in our past, we tell people that No, no, look, I'm being healthy. I want to make healthy choices, I'm going on a diet (if you want to do it that way), and I'd rather not. Right. And they'll go 'okay, sure, whatever'. And then they'll still offer you that piece of cake, or those biscuits.... They'll go "it's just your birthday, though, It's a special occasion, or just have one today, it's just one choice". Never mind that's the first the fourth birthday celebration of the week. So the whole point of that is sometimes we will then say one thing, and then when the moment comes to practice the thing we actually want to do, we give it we given the social pressure, we give into our temptation, our indulgence, our craving in our brain. And we just go with old habit we are like "well yeah, I said that, but I didn't really mean it".

I've learned over the years with what I'm going to teach you today that I don't no longer worry about those times, like lots of people tell me "all those times really hard, everyone's forcing food on me, everyone's got social pressure, everyone's you know, undermining my success?" 

No. Those are the opportunities.

What if every challenge that you face was an opportunity to practice living the way you ultimately want to live? What if every time it gets hard is a chance to test your commitment to your future? Your commitment to actually living your healthy life? Rather than just desiring it? What if it was your chance to live into the change you want to make and become the person you want to be? Rather than just talking about being that person?

I really want you to invite this,  because now when that happens, I'm like, Yeah, awesome. Great. I have no problem, saying no, now. I no longer give in to temptation. I've proven to myself time and time again, that I no longer self sabotage with food. Why? Because I've had lots of occasions. And every time I've practiced not sabotageing. I practice making the healthier choice, I practice the courage to say no, to politely decline, to stick to what I've decided in advance to have. So I really welcome - I relish those opportunities now. Because, like all things, with practice it gets easier. And so now every time do it, like, yeah, that's like my superpower. 

Now, the truth is, the more we practice our healthy habits, the easier it becomes to do them automatically. Right, it only gets easy when we've gone through the hard. Hard is the path to Easy. The more we practice living from our healthy life, from our healthy life,  being within it, in the moment, the healthier our life becomes. Isn't that crazy?

So I invite you to really adopt the ideas that you want to welcome the difficult times into your life, you want to embrace the times when you've got to make a tough decision. Invite the times when sticking to your commitment is hard...

Notice that you don't actually have to go out of your way to then create such situations. It doesn't mean I have to buy a cake every day and sit next to it and not eat it. Right. That's an extreme example. But the truth is, your life's going to give you lots of opportunitie. I like to think it's going to give you exactlyas many opportunities as you need. Really, just think about that.

So if there is a place in your life, where it feels hard to do the effort, to get up to go for that walk, to practice your portion control, and to stop when your hunger signals tell you it's time to stop. To actually put in the effort to plan out a meal, or to decide in advance how much you're going to have at that celebration to stick to your, I don't know one glass of wine limit, if that's what you've decided in advance.

I really want you to relish those. Because if every one of those situation comes up where someone goes, "Oh, let me just top you up. Let's have another one".  No, no, just sit there and watch Netflix, that'll be easier than going for a walk...anyway, it's too hard, it's too cold, it's too wet, it's too rainy, it's too windy, it's too dark. Your brain is always going to give you all the reasons why you shouldn't. And every time it does that, challenge that hard, that difficulty is there for you. It's the chance to level up, it's the chance to overcome, it's the chance to be the person you want to be. 

Does that mean you'll always get it right? Probably not, you're human. And it's normal and natural. So there'll be times when you fail, or you fall back into an old habit or you get into the urge or you'll, you know, binge watch the latest show on Netflix, instead of doing your workout. You take the path of least resistance.

I want to offer you that, even that now this is not a reason to do it. It's not an excuse. But even that if you do fall back to that old habit, sometimes that too can move you forward towards your goal. If you let it if you pay attention every time that happens, and this is how you get out of making it just an excuse.

You want to decide...what did I learn from this? What can I try differently next time? Like, what was actually the habit going on? What was the thought in my mind? What was the process? What is the thing I practiced? Do you need to change your process? What about it? Do you need to change? What specifically would you need to practice in order to make the decision that you ultimately want to be making? That's a really interesting question, right? And I encourage you to get super specific there. So maybe it's the courage to face rejection. If you politely decline the cake, the extra wine, whatever it is, are you willing to practice letting other people think poorly of you? Oh, you're no fun, right? Or, Oh you don't want my hospitality? Maybe it's the practice of the self reflection to check in and ask yourself, "do I really need this?" Is it the chance to practice the determination to say "I am worth this effort. I'm worth getting off the couch. I'm worth stopping when I'm satisfied. I am worth planning ahead."

What do you really want? Do you want to transform? Do you want to change your life? Do you want to achieve your goals? Do you want it easy?

What will you do next time life gives you a choice that seems hard. Will you give in and give up? Or will you invite it in, thank it for the opportunity to test yourself. And will you practice becoming the you you want to be?

I say bring it on!

If you want some help with that, and you're not sure of how to summon that courage, or how to have that practice with support and with compassion and with understanding and please reach out to me let me know in the comments what's hard for you, that perhaps you've been avoiding? What will you now do differently?..

and of course if you're watching on YouTube, make sure you hit the subscribe button to get notified of every new video that comes up. And of course you can always visit my website www.Livemorelife.com.au/videos to check out the other videos in this series. 

Finally my course stop sabotaging your weight loss to help you overcome emotional eating is opening the door was again soon. Doors will open in September. So if you do want to get on the wait list, make sure you go to Livemorelife.com.au click on stop sabotaging your weight loss and get on the wait list so you get notified as soon as doors open. I keep this class pretty small, so that I can give everyone that individual attention to really help you in just five weeks to Overcome emotional eating.

Until then, enjoy the hard it's where we transform.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai